tuesday, june 17, 2025
11:27 pm
the weeks are going by too quickly. it's nearly the halfway point of summer and it's gone by in a blink. things are picking up, but also so slow. i do like the simplicity in my routine summer, but i'm also getting a bit worn down and having less time to sit with my thoughts. haven't journaled much recently because of it. i have been busy in good ways though.
i am about to live through the biggest lie i have uttered and frankly i'm incredibly anxious about it. i lied to protect but the questions were slowly becoming too much. bombarded with them and i might crack a little. it's insane, but what's more insane is that i'm still treated like this. i'd have thought it'd be better by now, but it hasn't changed much. the constant questions, impossible expectations, the incessant calls past 10 pm. i'm suddenly 8 years old again and need supervision. it just makes me feel like i'm missing out on so much. my favourite past time is constantly envisioning what my life would be like if they weren't like this, constantly down my throat. they wouldn't affect me so much. i'd have so much less on my chest and spine. maybe i'd be a better person. maybe i wouldn't hold this anger and fear so deep within me. maybe i wouldn't have it at all.